I Write This Post With A Heavy Heart

So I'm writing this post with a very heavy heart this evening. I may not be posting for a few days or at least till next week sometime. I got a call from one of my sisters this afternoon saying that the woman I've considered my Mother, not my step-mom has been put into Hospice care. The doctors have given her a few days to a couple of weeks to live.

I haven't been blogging long so I guess I should explain. About a year and a half ago I got a similar phone call from another sister saying that our mother had been diagnosed with "Small Cell" Cancer.

Of course at the time it had been just as devastating news and honestly I went into denial right away. I did nothing but feel sorry for myself, can you believe that? How selfish is that? I thought of how even though she wasn't my biological mother, but my step-mom, but had raised me as her own since I was one. She had done more for me than my own biological mother. I have always been close to her and always talked to her and she was really the only one in my family that stuck by me during a very difficult time in my life. My sister told me that she was not going to receive any type of treatment. So instead of calling my mom and talking with her, I ignored her for weeks on end. I found out a couple months later there had been an incident that had gotten her placed in the hospital and if she had not gone she probably would have died. She started receiving treatments at that time and actually ride of all of the cancerous cells. She had beat the odds. This past year and a half she still has been receiving treatments.

Shortly before Christmas I spoke with my mom and she said she wasn't going to be getting Chemo and Radiation anymore. Because they have some lesions on her brain. A couple of days ago evidently she passed out and was admitted to the hospital. The doctors told her that the lesions in her brain are worse than they thought. So she has now been placed in Hospice care.

So I will be headed back home to say my good bye to the only woman I have ever considered my Mom.